Not a Martyr

What does Christ say about lonliness? Where in Scripture does He teach you how to cope with the very real feelings of being alone? Let's be honest: I'm talking about relationships here. I'm talking about the fact that I try to play God all the time. What order are my priorities in anyway?

I need to talk about this...from the perspective of what He's doing in me.

Over the course of two years, I have watched most of my friends (even aquaintences) get engaged or married, and, heaven forbid, have children! Unless I'm watching my life pass before my eyes, something looks wrong. It looks like I'm either far too ambitious in developing a career, too intimidating to be approached, or there's something wrong with my personality or physique. But are these the only three options? Maybe there's something stringing deeper in my life, and maybe I'm just one of those people who either psychoanalyzes everything too much or I'm trying to force things to happen.

And those who know me best know that if I try to MAKE things happen, I'm the most miserable person in the world and so far fallen from God's purpose!

I know I'm no martyr for not being in a relationship. After all, it's only been a year. Some people I know have been without a relationship for years and years and years. So, who am I to complain? Well, I'm a human, created in the relational image of God and one who longs to share life in a Christ-centered relationship with another person who loves Jesus! Therefore, what I feel is real!

What can I learn from my present state?

No one person in the world loves me like Christ Jesus. This is the year I fall completely into a trusting relationship with Him. I want to know HIM like none other! I want my life to mirror His love for people and live like fighter constantly on my knees! I'm not wife material right now. I don't even know if I'm girlfriend-savvy. :) But I am a daughter of the King, and I'm created with a very specific purpose in the world. If that's to be the best career-woman, homemakes, mother, missionary, or follower of Christ, then I'm committed to that job!

This life is such a blip in the eternity I know I'm going to spend with my Creator. I smile because every day I wake up is another day to honor Him, not to mourn about whether or not I have a boyfriend...let alone treat each day like I have to make myself available.

I'm available to Jesus until He says otherwise!