Me. God. And Chris Daughtry.

All that I’m after is a life full of laughter
As long as I’m laughing with you
All that still matters is love ever after you
After the life we’ve been through
Cause I know there’s no life after you

These words, sung by the ever-so-sexy voice of Chris Daughtry, caught my attention as I was minding my own business in Tony’s Gym today. Why would that be? Was it just his gruff, masculine, husky voice melodiously warming its way into my heart or was it really the words themselves? I listened harder the second time around. Yes, those words called me to think about my reality. A reality which I try not think about very often. Indeed, I have recently recruited an accountability partner to keep this reality in check.

If one takes a closer look at these lyrics, they are simple. clear. concise. (very much like those psychology papers I always pushed the boundaries on!) Anyway, sometimes, more than I’d like to admit, I am tempted to think about the past and how it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was just too demanding, too proud, too selfish, too expectant, too “perfect in my own image.” Maybe I was the one making life too hard and I pushed everyone away because I thought they didn’t measure up. But what was I measuring them against? My own standards were rather low. Sometimes I fall for Satan’s deceptive voice whispering that I was laughing and happy 2 and 3 years ago because I had companionship. I have to remind myself it was not as glamorous as I dreamily thought.

Love is not all that matters in a life that was not directed by Christ or centered on His will. How can I go back and think that when all is said and done, love will still reign? Life, especially one filled with joy and laughter, is one blessed by Jesus and the protection of the Holy Spirit. There IS life for me. I do not have to live with the guilt of the past three years, nor do I have to pretend it was good and I was better off then than I am now. That is not true. The way I conduct myself now is so much different than it was. I can tell a major change in the way I talk and laugh and express emotion. It’s genuine. The worry and strain, and constant agony I experienced even eight months ago are gone. I am free to smile. to love. to enjoy people. to share my gifts. To be the true person God created! So…

Thank you, Chris Daughtry for your alluring, enchanting voice which dances with my heart [I am listening to you now!]. Thank you for making me take a second look at my reality and appreciating significant change. And thanks for not leaving me hanging on the radio station…despite the fact that Lady Gaga gets underserved airtime!